just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
Randomize
