the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Randomize
