Are we in a gay sports bar?
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
Randomize
