I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
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