Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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