having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
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