so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
Randomize
