I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Randomize
