just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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