I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
