Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
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