Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
You're like the curious george of whores
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
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