I wanna passion pit in your ass
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize
