I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
Randomize
