You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Randomize
