I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
Randomize
