Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Randomize
