I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Randomize
