Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
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