I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize
