I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Randomize
