Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Randomize
