arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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