My hand turned me down
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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