The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
Randomize
