Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
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