i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
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