i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
i think we sleep fucked last night...
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
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