I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
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