Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Randomize
