dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Randomize
