At least make sure they are 18
Why
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
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