They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
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