He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
Randomize
