Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
