Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
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