My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
Randomize
