but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
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