just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
Randomize
