It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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