Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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