he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Randomize
