I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
