remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
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