I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
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