Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize
