A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
Randomize
