Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
Randomize
