Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize
