if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize
