under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
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